AUDI

* Always Unsafe Designs Implemented.
 

BMW

* Big Money Works.
* Brutal Money Waster.
* Bimbette Motor Weapon.
* Break My Window.
 

BUICK

* Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer.
 

CHEVROLET

* Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips.
* Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
* Cheap Heap, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
* Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology.
 

DODGE

* Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere.
* Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere.
* Dead or Dying Gas Eater.
* Dear Old Dad's Geriatric Express.
 

FIAT

* Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.
* Fix It All the Time.
* Fix it again, Tony!
 

FORD

* First On Recall Day.
* Fixed Or Repaired Daily.
* First On Rust and Deterioration.
* Fix Or Repair Daily.
* Found On Road, Dead.
* Fast Only Rolling Downhill.
* Features O.J. and Ron's DNA.
* Found On Russian Dump.
 

GM

* General Maintenance.
* Great Mistake.
* GMC- Garage Man's Companion.
* Got A Mechanic Coming?.
 

HONDA

* Had One Never Did Again.
 

HYUNDAI

* Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
 

MAZDA

* Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along.
 

OLDSMOBILE

* Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind *Infuriatingly Late Everywhere.
* Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment.
 

PINTO

* Put in new transmission often.
 

PONTIAC

* Poor old Neanderthal thinks its a Cadillac.
 

SAAB

* Send Another Automobile Back.
* Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
* Sorry Arsed Auto Builders.
 

TOYOTA

* Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto.
 

VOLVO

* Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.
* Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners.
 

VW

* Virtually Worthless.